Benjamin's NICU Journey: Part 1

I have been wanting to write a recap of Benjamin's birth/NICU stay before I forget things, but I have been putting it off. Not intentionally, but I know I have been avoiding it. It's just such a hard thing to even go back and think about. I kind of WANT to forget the details. However, I know that one day I would regret not recording everything, for my sake and for Benjamin's. Not to mention, I saw more miracles and felt the presence of God more during that time than ever in my life. I DON'T want to forget that :) All that being said, here goes...

Benjamin was a much anticipated addition to our family. He was not an "accident", like many people assumed because we had two other small children. He was perfectly planned with love and excitement. I was THRILLED when I found out that he was a boy. I love boys. I do boys. I have boy stuff. Everything was perfect with my previous two pregnancies, so I just automatically assumed that would be the case with Benjamin. That was true until sometime at the end of my 24th week.

I had been feeling extra tired and somewhat "crampy" and uncomfortable for a couple of days. I even opted out of a get together with friends after church on Sunday night because I felt bad. I told a friend I felt like I had some type of UTI or something. I didn't really think a lot of it, just figured maybe it was pregnancy stuff on top of taking care of two toddlers. I didn't change anything about our routine that week, and on Tuesday even did our weekly couponing/grocery trip. I thought I would just suck it up.

On Tuesday night, I started to feel really bad. Like, got home from the store and never moved off the couch again. Brad was home from work, which was our first "God thing" of many. He was scheduled to work Tuesday night, but randomly had a class come up that day that he had to take, therefore he couldn't work that night. I can't remember another Tuesday night he's ever been off. Had he not been there, I would've talked myself out of anything being wrong.

While laying on the couch, I could feel that I was having contractions, but attributed them to Braxton-Hicks because I had been on my feet so much that day. I drank tons of water and waited for them to stop. They never did. I started timing them and had about 9 in an hour. Brad and I were still debating whether this was something to worry about, but thankfully my friend Tiffany really pushed me to go to the emergency room. I called the doctor on call in my practice and she said to come on in.

It was already almost 10, so we loaded up the kids in their pj's and took them to my mom and dad's house, telling them that we would see them in the morning. I was so anxious on the way to the hospital, but never really accepted that there could be something truly wrong. I honestly thought maybe I had a UTI and needed some antibiotics. I remember that as we got out of the car, I said out loud, "Please Lord, let us see the inside of this car before morning."

We didn't have to wait in the emergency room (evidently being pregnant and having contractions sends you straight to L&D) which was nice. When we got to L&D, I was taken to a triage room and hooked up to contraction monitors, which was reading lots of contractions. The doctor came in and checked me and said I was dilated to 3/4 cm and in pre-term labor. I was 25 weeks and 1 day pregnant! How could this be?! This was the first shocking moment that I realized something could actually be very terribly wrong. I hid my tears until the doctor left the room, after she explained that I would be admitted and started on magnesium and some other stuff to try to stop labor. The poor nurse and Brad had to deal with my meltdown. Oh, that sweet nurse, she was trying to be helpful I'm sure, but she said something about getting a NICU practitioner in to talk to me about what a 25 weeker baby would be like. Ummm, NOT what I wanted to hear! Bring on the waterworks! (Thankfully, she didn't really get her. I couldn't have handled that! And if you are reading, Suzanne, Meredith, Melissa, or Ross, no offense, I just didn't want to get to know you just yet! :)

They took me to a room and got me all hooked up to stuff (after failing to get an iv in SEVERAL times, Brad was begging me to let him do it!). I was on magnesium (which is terrible) for most of the night and it stopped the contractions! The next morning my doctor came and checked me out and said I was only dilated to about 1 cm! We were so excited! She didn't know what caused the pre-term labor, and said we might never know. All my bloodwork was coming back fine, no infection.  She warned that some really high number, 75% maybe, of people who go into pre-term labor deliver within 2 days. Of course I thought that DID NOT apply to me. She told me to prepare for lengthy bedrest, possibly until delivery, and a lot of that in the hospital. This did not sound appealing and I was somewhat upset just because of the thought of being away from Andrew and Isaac so much. However, this sounded a lot better than having Benjamin at 25 weeks! So, we started making plans and had lots of sweet, supportive friends and family stop by the hospital for the next couple of days. I was moved from L&D to the regular OB floor for my bedrest. I thought everything wasn't going as I had planned, but felt like we were out of the woods. Little did I know...

Stay tuned for Part 2!

For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother's womb. ~ Psalm 139:13