So, when I left off we were trying to figure out how bed rest was going to work for the next weeks/months. Turns out we didn't have to worry about that. We had much bigger fish to fry.
On Thursday we had lots of fun visitors in the hospital. Our good friends, Ryan and Tiffany, came and brought their new 6 week old baby, Jenna Kate, and my sister and brother-in-law came and brought my sweet nephew, Noah. Here I am with Noah. He had been to a check up and had on a hospital bracelet, so we matched :) (Excuse how I look, super strict on the bed rest at that point = no shower. Also, this would turn out to be the last pre-Benjamin picture.)
About mid afternoon everyone left, the nurse came and got my vitals, which were perfect, so Brad and I settled in for a fun game of cards. I told him to go ahead and deal them while I took a restroom break. Well. What had been some slight leaking (sorry, tmi) earlier turned into... a lot of leaking. (A little back story, I was afraid the night before that my water had broken because I had a little leaking. The nurse did a test and it showed that it was not amniotic fluid, so I was assured that it was nothing. Hindsight, it WAS.) I was fairly certain now that my water was breaking. We called the nurse and I told her what was going on. She kind of suggested to wait a few minutes and if it continued, we would take some action. She had probably been gone 30 seconds when my legs started to have these crazy tremors. I could NOT control them at all. The shaking quickly spread over my whole body, it was like I was having a seizure, but I wasn't. Brad ran and got the nurse and with one glance, she immediately went to call my doctor to get to labor and delivery. While she was out of the room, I told Brad that I didn't know what was going on, but I knew one thing. Benjamin was going to be born that day. I told him to start praying because our son was about to be born at 25 weeks. So he started to pray and we just cried.
I couldn't even get into a wheelchair because I had no control over my limbs, so the nurse and Brad had to push my whole bed down the hall to L&D. I was crying and so scared at this point. I can't even imagine what it was like for Brad to watch all of this happen in a matter of less than 10 minutes. As soon as we got into the room, my doctor whizzed in and said, "We are not having this baby today! Nobody panic, if your water is broken there are things we can do. We are NOT having this baby!" God bless her for her optimism, it made me feel better for about 3 minutes.
The nurses started getting vitals and my temperature was 101 or 102 at this point. It had been 98.6 only 15 or so minutes before. This is where all the shaking came from. It was basically just continuous chills because my temperature was skyrocketing. The doctor checked and I was dilated to 4 or 5 cm. She pulled out the ultrasound machine and within seconds was able to see that the amniotic fluid didn't look right (infection) and that Benjamin was almost in the birth canal. They immediately flipped my bed to where I was practically on my head to keep him from pretty much falling out. At this point, my doctor named off about 5 or 6 symptoms of infection that had literally cropped up in these few minutes. She looked at me with tears in her eyes (love a compassionate doctor) and said that she was so sorry, but Benjamin was going to have to be born today. He just couldn't stay in an infected environment.
What seemed like 50 nurses crowded around preparing me for an emergency c section. Brad was right there the whole time. He called our parents to get to the hospital. This was my third c section, so I knew what to expect, but it was SO very different. The other times I was nervous about what was going to happen to me. How it would effect me. What could go wrong for me. Notice the key word? ME. So selfish. This time, I could not even form a complete thought. I didn't have a thought of concern for myself. I was trying to pray for my sweet Benjamin, but I didn't even know what to pray. I am so thankful for a God who intercedes on my behalf when I don't even know what to speak.
The only thing that really scared me for myself was that they told me I might have to be put to sleep. I wanted, I NEEDED, to know what was going on. I was terrified to be put to sleep and wake up and find something horrible had happened. In order to get a spinal, usually you sit up on the side of the table and lean over. I was unable to sit up and had to stay inverted, so they would have to try to get the spinal in while I was laying on my side. I was told that this doesn't work a lot of the time. Also, if I had to be put to sleep, Brad couldn't be in the operating room. I prayed like crazy that the spinal would work. It took what seemed like forever, but thank the LORD, it took! Brad had to be out of the room during all this, but my doctor stood and held my hand and was very encouraging. It was such a blessing that out of a practice of 7 or 8 doctors, she was the one on call that day. We know that wasn't an accident. :)
From the time they started the surgery, it was only a very few minutes until Benjamin was born. 5:21 pm to be exact. It was then that I heard a beautiful, yet tiny sound. I heard Benjamin cry! That would be the last time I heard him cry for weeks, but that sound brought so much hope. No one said much as they worked on him. Brad went over and watched what they were doing. They were able to wheel him over in the incubator for me to look at him for a few seconds as they left for the NICU. I could hardly see him because he was so incredibly small. He was lost in all the tubes and bags all over him. He weighed 1 lbs 13 oz, and was 13 inches long. Here is a picture of him the day after he was born. (It's hard to comprehend the scale of this picture, but as a reference, that little arm poking up in the back was about the size of my finger.)
Brad went with him to the NICU, so I was by myself while they finished sewing me up. I was just constantly praying, but still not even knowing what to say. As I stared at the curtain in front of my face, it was a little wrinkled on one side. I looked at the wrinkle and it looked like a shark. It looked exactly like a shark that was on a newborn shirt I had bought for Benjamin the week before. From that point on, all I could pray was, "Lord, please let me see my Benjamin wear that shark shirt." Over and over and over I prayed that prayer. Isn't my God good? (***SPOILER***) :)
While in recovery, I was told that Benjamin was doing as well as could be expected for a baby so early and so small. There was no way to tell what the next few days would hold, especially the next 48 hours were very critical. I got back to my room where there were tons of supportive and praying friends and family. I really could never ask for any better. We all prayed over Benjamin and eventually everyone except my mom, sister (who had just hightailed it from 6 hours away in Georgia), brother in law, and a friend had left. I was somehow able to get into a wheelchair and make my way to the NICU for the first of hundreds of visits behind those doors. Somehow, though still traumatized and fearful, I felt a real peace. God was there with us every step of the way.
Stay tuned for Part 3! Life in the NICU!
(Click here for Part 1)
I would have lost heart, unless I had believed that I would see the goodness of the Lord in the land of the living. Wait on the Lord; Be of good courage, and He shall strengthen your heart; Wait, I say, on the Lord!" ~Psalm 27:13-14
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